One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
