were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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