The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
