giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
