I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
