ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
home. puking in laundry basket.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
