Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
