The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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