I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
