Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
