I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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