Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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