think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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