And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
