Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
