Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
