hell yes lets make some ravioli
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
