I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize