In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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