The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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