But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
