it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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