Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
