shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you inspire me to be a worse person
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
