Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
