we should wear snuggies to the strip club
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
