I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
