mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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