drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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