I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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