I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
