just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
