You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
