Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
