I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
