maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
