He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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