You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
