Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize