I heard we made out
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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