Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
