Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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