its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
