we have officially mastered the walk of shame
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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