she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
