dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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