you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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