How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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