i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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