the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
