hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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