Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
