I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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