My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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