i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
