How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
