I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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