Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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