pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just invented taco cereal.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
